Please be advised that I have NO expertise ( despite what the massive spam on my site that I block says). Except I remain in the top listing in google for the search term ” epic asshattedness” NOT MAKING THIS UP. Google it. )(now I rank for several other horrific things including “robin willimas man junk” and “justank beaver” I am so proud- click here and see.
I feel bad because there are some peoples questions that are really insane long and I want to include them but posting would only up my ranking on the HLS watch list, make my entire following base seem a bit more than insane, be further evidence for their loved ones during a committal hearing.
So here are some answeres to questions I just can’t post here.
Dear “Burning Need”- No there is no circumstance that it is ok to use GoldBond for that. xo ThePeachy1
Dear “Can I” – I am pretty sure you technically “can”, but I think the questions you should ask are ” should I ” and “may I”. xo ThePeachy1
Dear “DayDreamer”- actually that’s pretty stupid, we all know unicorns are way way better than cats. Have you EVER heard of someone dying and their body getting eaten by a herd of pet unicorns? NO. That means cats are murders. Unicorns are just bad asses. xo ThePeachy1
Dear “Fungus Amoung Us”- yeah I am pretty sure he is lying, you can catch a lot of stuff in NYC, but not from sitting on a tractor seat in a museum, and not that. Head to the Dr, then the lawyer. xo ThePeachy1
NOW THE EXCLUSIVE I WARNED YOU ABOUT–
OK that’s it, also yesterday on Moronic Monday I explained that I got in a fight, it was public, in todays world it was only a matter of time before it would get leaked to the media. So doing just like Oprah, but not like her at all since I am not a kabillionare and don’t have my own tv show, I decided it would be best to give an exclusive to a fair and balanced impartial media source and offer my soul that it would be presented with me in a favorable light and since I can’t afford to purchase public support on this plight that everyone would just see my side and think I was a hero or a victim.
if you don't know JC Little, your life is probably a little empty.
The full story, misadventures and dirty laundry is aired. Was it impartial?
(warning I admit up front I was fighting a guy, and he was wearing spiderman pajamas)
Now I have to go because I am trying to bedazzel my new house arrest ankle bracelet, send glue sticks.
I really need to quit reading your blog while holding a cup of coffee.
sending aloe vera. also Nancy Grace just yelled out Dyke? I probably shouldn’t have been listening but I was hoping her voice would clean my ceiling fan.
Peach the cats eat the body after the person is already dead. Therefore they are not in fact murderers. The most they could be charged with is mutilating a body. I thought we talked about this kind of broad generalization. Why do you hate cats?
it’s probably the entire, clean up my poop and wait on me when I chose and I will bit you at random because I hate your guts now buy me expensive stuff NOW attitude they have. It could also be every cat my husband has owned treats me like crap and indeed finds something of mine to pee on. Also Rachel- so what your saying is, if my family dies, and I sit in the house and eat their bodies, I can’t really be charged with anything?
Dogs you can trust to lay beside of your (dead) body until it is discovered. Cats will begin tearing at you within hours. They will also drive your car if you leave the keys out where they can find them. Honestly.. they do.
Holly- you know this, I know this. but Spiker? she was my cats attorney during the great defamation of cat character case back in 2010.
Can we clarify a little bit?? Are we talking extreme exigent circumstances like plane crash in the Andes and you have to eat the dead type thing? Because if not, and you’re eating people, we need to re-evaluate our friendship.
To clarify: was the fun-guy sitting on the tractor seat pants-less?
well actually no, it was some trumped up story about a tractor in a museum and he was asked to pose for an art class and had to be nude on a tractor seat. I explained to her that was the WORST POSSIBLE lie ever. she should get the house.
thats funny.. i was expecting a real fight… cause you know.. that could happen..
[…] Non Advice- Tell it Tuesday […]