Well it’s upon us people.
CHRISTMAS
( 7 LITTLE DAYS)
I don’t take it as serious as I did when the oldest kids were little. I am not nearly as June Cleaver, anal retentive, YOU BETTER SMILE WHEN YOU TAKE THIS PICTURE OR I WILL KILL YOU, type of Mom I was a couple decades ago. ( shut up yes I am that old and still parenting the 9 year old Prince)
Now it’s like, uhm yeah tree? sure uh, don’t your friends ( all 9 and under) want to come over and drag crap all over because nothing says Christmas like some tacky decorating and honestly 9 year old boys and 7 year old girls have the market cornered on decorating in this genre.
Plus now my house really does look like a special edition of Hoarders at the North Pole.
Oh I made these yesterday-
They are reindeer cupcakes people.
and here’s the recipe-
Put on clothes, find car keys, go to store.
Ask ladies who bake stuff to give you a few dozen cupcakes with just brown chocolate frosting.
Go put Nilla wafers, m&ms, frosting and pretzels in your cart.
Check out and get that impusle Diet Mt Dew for the drive home.
Get home remove stores sticker from the cupcake holder.
Make your kid sort out m&m’s and break pretzles.
Place a nilla wafer on the cupcake, place a red or brown m&m in the middle
Then shove broken pretzels in for antlers and MATCHING colored m&m’s for eyes.
Then tell your kid to wash his hands and finish them up because you have to answer some emails.
Then when he’s done go look and take pictures.
** also he made a 3 eyed reindeer and a cyclopes reindeer and a zombie reindeer with antlers hanging out of it’s mouth from another reindeer. But the Reindeer Right Protection league wont let us post those pics and somehow deleted them off my camera before I could even save them. The RRPL is apparently linked with the mob cause they are bad ass, or they could be aliens, not sure.
So here’s some funnies to get you through the weekend.
This first one is for my #sybil/#eve
shh... It's JD's wish too, he told Brendan and then he told me.
Timmy is currently being groomed to enter Politics.
and finally what would do with out FANTASTICAL MARKETING
I always wanted to get that for Grandpa but wasn't sure if it was PC or not, thanks Walgreens you rock.
Have an awesome weekend you remarkable band of brillant people, take with you a smile and remember, I love ya.
Sweet baby Jesus in a manger, I was going to say something and then I got to ass fragrance 50% off and every other thought just flew out of me head. What was it, what was it???
Yeah, zombie reindeer. That was it. It sounds like there’s an RRPL undercover agent in your house if those photos were deleted off your camera. Time to clean house. I’m not sure I should turn coat on a former client like this, but I’m really disappointed I didn’t get to see those pictures and they sounds BAD ASS, so well … I think it’s Dante.
Rachel, I want you to know your client was found guilty of peeing on a christmas present ( socks) under the tree last night and we have it on video surveillance. Then when I attempted to gently remove your client from chewing on the tree lights she did indeed bite me and claw my arm off. I did NOT spike her on the hard wood floor. But yeah I can tell it’s her, she is totally trying to ruin christmas.
want want want those reindeer cupcakes.
need the ass fragrance for a few people here at work. i’m hoping it will mask their very being.
At first I was like ” WOO HOO” I can finally give this to the old people in my family that have smelly ass. Then I was like oh shit, what if Uncle Asshat gets some on him will he just like go all poof? and then I was like WAIT A FREAKING MINUTE- THIS MAKES YOU SMELL LIKE ASS ! Like how hunters spray animal urine on them so the animals wont know they are human? OMG. That’s whats wrong too many people got sprayed with ASS FRAGRANCE and now they are all asses.
That is the MOST BESTEST GREATEST card ever!! Old girl is looking good.
Ass fragrance??? bwwaahhhaa! yeah.
btw.. Im totally stealing the card.
LOVE YOU !!!
Oh shit….. I forgot to say….. those cupcakes. Must.Have.One.
LOL. I think the bottom right one is a bull posing as a reindeer and some of them are definitely brown nosers. But yeah they were pretty much full on YUM. Glad you liked your card. And I am curious about the Ass Fragrance.
Holly, could I please touch your Xmas present? Both hands? Thank you. xxoo
Peaches, I am curious about the ass fragrance: is it fragrance for your ass or fragrance that smells like ass? And if the ass means a donkey ’cause yeah the donkey in my stable could certainly use some fragrance. (p.s. So glad I am not a guy so there is no reading “donkey in my stable” as some sort of euphemism…)
Super awesome cupcakes! Thank gawd I don’t have a child to disappoint although I do have 3 neices and 1 nephew their patents were smart enough to teach them at a young age not to expect too much from their auntie lol maybe I’ll shock the shit out of them and make some? Hmmmm….
Those cupcakes RULE!!!
I would comment, but I gotta get to walgreens. I love Ass Fragrances, and I think some of the people on my list might enjoy them for gifts, too.