Horrible Inlaws Drinking Game, Possessed Dogs and more

Please be advised that I have NO expertise ( despite what the massive spam on my site that I block says).   Except I remain in the top listing in google for the search term ” epic asshattedness”,( click here and see)

So if you send in your question, which your totally welcome to do, to beingpeachy@gmail.com, PULEEZE for the love of Spice on a Bike know that your advice is coming from someone who is known for “epic asshattedness”.

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Dear Peachy 1-

HELP

Lost in MidWest

Dear Lost in the Mid West-  Go in any direction eventually you will hit water,  that’s my only navigational aid that holds true no matter where you are.  But then you can get directions. Good luck ( if you go south you might see me?)  xo  ThePeachy1

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Peachy

My In Laws are coming to town.  We have been happily married for 7 years.  If they stay longer than 2 weeks we wont make it to 8.  They both hate me and everything I do is wrong and my husband says nothing.  It drives me crazy.  Any suggestions on how to tolerate them without loosing my mind?

Singed,  Bracing for the In-Law Impact

Dean Bracing-  Ok first get a gallon jug of vodka and a gallon jug of rum.  Then get pink shot glasses and blue.   Then get an air horn.   Use your printer to print out  the instructions to the fun new game you will be playing during their say called, ”  UB Rude!”   Use lots of colorful clip art!  Make it look fun and exciting.   Then wear the airhorn on your side like a cops gun.  Every time they are rude or offensive blow that airhorn, and pour a shot for the appropriate one.  Pink for her and blue for him ( of course you get to drink continuously which will only improve your airhorn judgement calls).   Anyone who fails to drink or participate must leave the house for a 5 hour penalty, INCLUDING the spouse.   It’s pretty much a  win win, you get toasted, they get toasted and you get to honk and airhorn in their ears the entire trip, which I suspect will be shortened considerably.   Please take pics and let me know how it goes.  xo ThePeachy1

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Dearest Peaches,

I am pretty sure that my dog is possessed.  Sometimes she looks really sweet and normal and then her entire face changes and it’s like she isn’t even the same dog anymore.  when she sleeps noises come out of her that I am sure are not normal dog or animal noises.  Should I go to the church with this or what?

Owner of Possessed Pup

Dear OPP-  Step 1-  call your Vet and drop her off there for a check up,  while she’s there go ahead on your to Dr and get your self up on the rack.  Never hurts to get those meds adjusted.  You know what I mean.  They are like clocks, sometimes you need to change them up with the seasons?  Good luck with that, in the mean time make her a collar out of  garlic. xo ThePeachy1

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So that’s it my juicy fruits.   The rule is 3  questions every Tuesday so go ahead and send yours in.   Take it easy and remember the rest of the week is just WTF?    Hang in there !

XO

PEACH OUT