Chalk Gate- Moronic Monday

It’s here again.  Monday.   I think of this weekly adventure as a war.  I can do little to help you.  But I can give you laughter for armor.  So I dig up a story to show you just what a tremendous moron I am in the hopes you may get through your day with a little less stress.

***Due to the Fact that I am busy handling immediate 2 family members (both males of course) in the hospital in two different states, and my best friend having surgery today at 6am I am sort of  phoning this one in and bringing back an old Moronic Monday for you.  So just pretend that it is still stupid cold outside, and the Prince is still adorably 9.***

Fasten your seat belt darlings here we go.

Last Thursday the Droid and the Price were outside gathering small yard sticks for lighting in the chimney because nothing says father son bonding like a little pyromania.

I decided to jump in the tub for a tad of R & R.  I am very lucky I have a giant tub in the master bath which is good, because I have a giant rear end, my 9 year old likes to snorkel in our master tub so it works for us.

Then something happened as I was getting up and I hit my knee.  I ended up balanced on my left knee with my right left bent behind me, holding myself up with only my right hand. My right knee cap felt like it was jammed up to my earlobe and straitening it or bending it was just out of the question.

Remember the Droid and Prince are outside part? yeah.  So the dogs came in to answer my screams.  Yes I even screamed, ” Lassi go get help “.

No one came.

The water drained away, I got cold.  The left knee got very tired. ( Whose bright idea was it to put little bumps in the bottom of the tub to dig into my 1 remaining knee cap?) The right hand got very tired.  Tears and snot from the pain of my knee ran freely down my face and I pictured what my CSI would look like. You know when someone did eventually find my dead body how would it look.

this is at least dignified

But  mine wouldn’t look like that mine would look like this.

my csi chalk outline looks like a pile of dirty cloths instead of a body

Investigator- So officer 1-  are we investigating an Elephant that shit in a bathtub or a dirty pile of clothes?

Officer 1- No sir it’s an injured walrus it was just kind of hunched up on 1 knee and 1 flipper.

It was this, that gave me the strength to survive scream louder.  The men folk came running and assisted my wet injured walrus self out of the tub and brought the “Peachy First Aid Kit”  which includes these-

always on hand here in Peachyland, I also have a walker, wheelchair, leg brace, and slings. No I am not accident prone at all.

My knee made so many snap crackle and pops over the next 24 hours it got a voice over job at Rice Crispies.  ( Holla for the working knee ! )  But by mid Sunday I was off the crutch. which was good because I had a scheduled deep tissue grease burn  for my right hand during a doughnut making session and that just is not conducive with crutch use. ( or crotch use, or actually any kind of use)

So there ya have it folks, if you don’t completely end up wet, naked, cold and screaming at a dog for help in a shape that if you were to die would be confused as a pile of dirty clothes or elephant poo only to survive and burn the crap out of your hand a couple days later, than chances are your Monday might turn out a little better than mine.  Hang in there folks. Battle hard, battle strong, Punch Monday in the junk for me.

xo

PEACH OUT

*the winners of my birthday blog give away have all been contacted and the prize packages will be shipped out this Wednesday!