Super freakin Fragalistic Friday YALL! Also it’s the last day to leave a sexy ( or strictly platonic) comment and be entered in the drawing to win one of THREE count them 3 freaking 3 can I get a shout out for the number THREE PEACHY PRIZE PACKAGES that I am giving away for this darling little Being Peachy Blogs Birthday that is going down this Sunday April 24 ! Awesome right? I know. Honestly it wouldn’t be possible without you fantastic friends so I to have go give you something. Just leave a comment and you are entered in the drawing as long as I can reach you via twitter, or email by your comment and BAM it’s all on like donkey kong!. Also the packages are super cute and very peachy!
Let’s get down to Funny Stuff Friday Business Shall we?
First a sign that is less than 2 miles from my house.
finally truth in advertising !
Ok as most of you know this red headed green eyed loud mouthed speckled girl was made in Thailand. As you know most Eastern societies are much healthier physically and mentally, they have stronger families and lets face it, pretty much dominate anything they attempt. I decided to do a sit down interview with what would be considered an “Aunt” type person in our Western Culture and here’s how it went.
Me: Thank you for allowing me to ask you these questions I appreciate you sharing your time and wisdom with my readers.
Aunt: I no mind, you paying for lunch right? Why people read you anyway, did you get fatter?
Me: Yes ofcourse I am buying the lunch and yes I got fatter, thanks for noticing, people read what I write because they like me.
Aunt: OH you post dirty pictures?
Me: Nope. Can we start the interview?
Aunt: It you nickle girl, I want good stuff today.
Me: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
Aunt: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it… Don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Me: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
Aunt: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!
Waiter: Can I take your order ladies?
Aunt: She no lady, she a big time fancy writer, you better kiss that butt right.
Me: She’s on meds sorry.
Waiter: { eye roll- walk away – see no tip)
Me: We live in the fattest state in the Fattest Country do you think fried foods are bad?
Aunt: YOU NOT LISTENING! Everything is fried NOW. You a cracker, you fried in vegetable oil. How could eating more vegetable be bad for you? Don’t be stupid.
ME: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
Aunt: You hit your head right? Maybe if you clean your house you not be so fat? When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Me: Is chocolate bad for me?
Aunt: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!
Me: Is swimming good for your figure?
Aunt: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..
Me: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
Aunt: Hey! ‘Round’ is shape! Just look in mirror piggy.
She then stabbed my hand with a fork because I reached for the salt shaker, and do you know what? She’s probably right about every single thing. I love her, and being around her, makes perfect sense, because it’s the one time, I seem sane.
I love you Auntie.
Have a great weekend Y’all, Round is a shape, Whales are Hot, get drunk and eat Chocolate. My Aunt said so !
XO
PEACH OUT
