Please be advised that I have NO expertise ( despite what the massive spam on my site that I block says). Except I remain in the top listing in google for the search term ” epic asshattedness” NOT MAKING THIS UP. Google it. )(now I rank for several other horrific things including “robin willimas man junk” and “justank beaver” I am so proud- click here and see.
The following are emails that I probably should have answered like 1 or 2 weeks ago, because I think they are time sensitive. But hey people you get what you pay for and this non advice is totally free.
Dear ThePeachy1-
My ex boyfriend works with a guy I really like. He has asked me to the company party which is famous for being rowdy and a bit crazy. I want to go with the guy I like but I worry I will ruin my shot with him if I get drunk around my ex. Our sexual chemistry was HOT !
signed,
Torn between 2 lovers
Dear Torn Between 2 lovers- hrm I wonder how that went, can you email me the fall out from this event possibly include photos or video? Did it look like this? xo ThePeachy1
all the party people scream HO !
Dearest Peachy,
Please help me, I love my kids 11 and 6 but they are monsters. Spoiled monsters. We are ok financially but by no means rich. They have the manners of gremlins and I can’t seem to get them under control. When I take away their iphones and laptops they just punish me by being nasty.
Help me,
The Doormat Mom
Dear Doormat Mom- Ttake them to Willy Wonkas place because all the brats get it in the end there. xoxo ThePeachy1
Poor Veruca NOT ! http://www.janegoodwin.net/
Hey Peach
My in-laws are coming for the Holidays, they never want to o anything other than sit around ” visiting” for days and days, I can only take so much. Also their visits are like a stab to my culture are I am Hispanic and they are not and make “NON funny” stereo type jokes but think it’s ok since they are also a minority. They are rude and treat me like a servant and complain if I speak Spanish or hide in my closet hoping they will disapear.
Esposa
Dear Esposa- My redneck neighbor says that pigs will eat everything but the skull. Then I was thinking, the skull would make a hella candle holder right? Set up an etsy right away ! xo ThePeachy1
This could be your MIL.
photo credit tohttp://www.thisnext.com/item/09406863/2243A553/Pink-Skull-Candle-Holder
That’s it for this week my friends. Take care and feel free to send in any questions you might need non advice for. The general rule is 3 a week every Tuesday. BEINGPEACHY@GMAIL.COM
Ok, Doormat Mom needs to get a clue. I’m sorry. Normally I’m not this rude or nasty and I’m a nice person in general. However, a 6 & 11 year old with iPhones?! AND LAPTOPS?
Granted, she admits they are spoiled but really, that is unacceptable. And THEY punish YOU by being nasty?
Here’s what you do.
Take ALL of their things out of their rooms except books and other necessities. Remove ALL video games & video game systems. Remove TVs or at least unplug the cable connection or satellite or whatever it is that I am assuming they have in their rooms.
Do not allow them to be on ANY computer for anything outside of school work – which should be close to never.
Bring their spoiled asses to a homeless shelter or a women’s shelter or a food bank or somewhere that MUCH less fortunate people live. Make them donate 10 items to a charity or a place less fortunate.
Send their pricey bullshit phones to soldiers who are protecting their butts and allowing them to be free. Remind them that being shitty kids means they become shitty adults.
Nip that crap in the bud NOW.
I know I’m being harsh but my kids are almost exactly that age and they are THANKFUL for the few things they have (no cell phone or computer but games, toys, etc.) Sure, they are sometimes a pain and spoiled but they don’t take it for granted. I had to teach them and it was not a pleasant process. However, they know that they are fortunate and aren’t ENTITLED to have the cool toys they have. They know those things are a LUXURY.
Just my opinion. I hope my suggestions work and your kids become less snotty.
When I was a little kid, I used to think Veruca was hot.
wow, Justin, I don’t want to state the obvious but do you think maybe in the back of your mind you still kind of want some insane bitch screaming at you and stomping her feet?
Reminds me of the time I attended a Xmas party. One old boy got drunk and proceeded to tell everyone just what he really thought of them. There was much apologizing and butt kissing to be done the next day.
Wow Peachy, I think you just described Justin’s ex wife.
doormat moms need to stop spoiling her kids and get a grip. I would clean those kids out and they would sleep in military bunks and get up and do chores every morning before school and eat grub for a few days to realize how cushy that got it. But I am a hard ass. I also have 32 kids.
As for the first – that girl just needed to get a threesome going. I mean for real. Two hot men and her. Yeah. Totally awesome.
I’ve seen some crazy shit going down at company parties…poor bleach in my eyes senerio eeeew!
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Miley, I totally agree with you! My first thought when I read that was WTF!!! No wonder your kids are brats. What 11 or 6 year old need their own iPhones and laptops for the love of little green martians! Sing it sister! Take away all their overpriced toys. It’s going to take a while to get them past the sense of entitlement mom has already instilled in them, but it must be done.
woo hoo SPIKER IN THE HIZ HOUSE!