Woo Hoo ! I am back. Back from my kick butt Winter Vacation. That’s right, I asked my boss if I could have the same vacation as my kid and husband and what do ya know? I said YES ! I have enjoyed it but worry that one of 2 things could have happened. 1- I got so rusty I forgot how to post or 2- I will come at it with an entirely new angle and just blow the bloggiverse out of the water ! ( or fizzle out like a wet pop bottle rocket).
I didn’t make anyone suffer with extensive Christmas Posts or a 2010 wrap up or even a New Years Resolution prophetic post. In stead I enjoyed 3 separate yet sometimes over lapping waves of guests. T’was simply amazing. But it’s Monday, so you know I gotta throw you a Moronic Monday story from the Holidays.
I am sorry for all of you who had to wake up to that wretched beast of an alarm clock for the first time in not nearly enough days. I am sorry for anyone who stepped into their work clothes for the first time in days and found out they had shrunken and now you have to safety pin the button on your shirt for work today. So in good old 3rd grade fashion here is a story of how I spent my Winter Vacation like a Moron and epic asshat via interpretive song and dance.
Here’s the story of a chick named Peachy
I loved having company and spending 14 days in my pj's
Who was living in the middle of the woods.
far from civilization in her pj loving world
All of them her acres were all grass
except for maybe 1 square foot of concrete stone
So this one day this Peachy wanted PoBoys
the buns are made of gold
But The Peachy would not get out of her pajamas
So she went to the store in her PJ's and made the kids go in and purchase lunch
She was happy and excited as she headed from the car back to her house.
Do not confuse this with break dancing, it is Break Falling
She had found the only piece of concrete and she crumbled and fell into a bunch.
(This part doesn’t fit in the song but must be sung in 1 breath )
Though her friend was on her couch and her husband in the house, they left ThePeachy dying on the ground, just 2 feet from the door, if it wasn’t for the 3 kids all under 9 that saved her, she would be buzzard food, instead of just sore and bruised.
and also the po boys were not injured and everyone ate theirs without any remorse of ThePeachy1’s injuries and near death concrete break falling experience.
also from my knee to my hip I look like Violet Beauregarde still.
now if you can just fathom a mashup of Brady Bunch and I’m too sexy for this bruise, then you can join me in my Moronic Monday.
xo
PEACH OUT
* Many Thanks to The Munchkin, The Prince, and the Nearly My kid for rescuing me, my phone, my glasses, my purse, my sock, and of course, The PO BOYS !
No pride was injured during the making of this post since I lost that years ago during childbirth.
SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY I did NOT hear the Munchkin tell me you fell. I SWEAR!
I hope that I made up for it by cooking hot dogs and whatever-the-hell-else-ever it was that they ate for dinner. Or lunch. Or whatever-meal-we-are-calling-that-thing-at-3pm
sure sure Miley, I bet you tell that story to all your friends that nearly die just a few feet from you while you chat on yahoo ignoring the screaming children about an adult being in death throws on the cobblestone sidewalk between 3 or 17 broken down cars. Wait really? did you just imply that microwaving ghetto dogs was a meal? ROFLMAO oh yeah that makes us totally even, I mean after I use the pick of you in your lovely outfit it will.. LOL
ruh roh.
To be fair, unless a child is bleeding in front of me I generally tend to ignore screaming children. Especially MY children. I mean, they yell at each other all damn day, ya know?
Plus the munchkin – I SWEAR TO YOU – did not talk to me when she said you fell. Maybe she said it walking in the door or something but… well, unless she’s in front of me I tend to tune her out because she doesn’t shut up.
I think CPS is going to come and take my kids from me now b/c that makes me sound like a bad mom. That pic of me is not going to help.
And no, when you put it THAT way, it totally does NOT make it even. Dammit. I hate it when you’re right.
HA HA. I have pictures to prove all of this.
And Peachy I got the “wrapping”. Thank you.
Dude so glad you liked it, we aim to please, you know, like when your toilet training? please aim please!
Potty training huh? hmmm….
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by ThePeachy1, ThePeachy1. ThePeachy1 said: I'm BACK- How I spent my Winter Vacation- via Moronic Monday and interpretive dance. http://bit.ly/dFilmS […]
I miss ALL the fun! If only I lived closer. Errr.
you/we/me were right here. #eve. I am blaming the passing out from vodka on you and your fever, the falling was all me baby
way to save the po boys! that’s a perfect break fall in my book.
(sers, sorry sweetie. i often find mysterious bruises on me around the holidays. ok, so year round. let’s not judge.)
well I have to say it’s better than the year of the ceiling fan. ( yeah don’t judge is right) I had no clue how far that hamster could fly
Oh. Your so-called friend was only hoping that you’d get matching cast on your leg! 😉
Yep SubWOW. I firmly believe that this could be her plot, ploy, plan.