Being Peachy

Happy Dry Hump Day y’all.  This means in just 2 short days we will be all hunky dory with the weekend groove and stuff.
So let’s induldge in a little humor shall we?

So here are some more jokes sent in by readers.

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The wife and I were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy Sunday morning.

I said to her, “If I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff.”

“Now why would you want me to do something like that?” she asked.

“I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don’t want some other
asshole using my stuff.”

She looked at me and said, “What makes you think I’d marry another asshole?”

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What  Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever  wonder about those people who say they are giving more than  100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants  you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up  100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical  formula that might help you answer these  questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J  K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented  as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19  20 21 22 23 24 25  26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11  =  98%

And

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5  = 96%

But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5  = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20  = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take  you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7  = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical  certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you  close, and Attitude will get you there, its  the Bullshit and Ass  kissing that  will put you over the top.

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and finally –

XOXO

PEACH OUT