Please be advised that I have NO expertise ( despite what the massive spam on my site that I block says). Except I remain in the top listing in google for the search term ” epic asshattedness” NOT MAKING THIS UP. Google it. I have been 3 and 4 for over 4 months. and now rank number 1 for “robin willimas man junk” I am so proud. Yes you can sit at my table during lunch, because I love you.
So if you send in your question, which you’re totally welcome to do, to beingpeachy@gmail.com, PULEEZE for the love of baby cheeses know that your advice is coming from someone who is known for “epic asshattedness”.
Dear Peachy,
I am a single mom by choice and my daughter is only 14. She is consistently hell on wheels. Breaking curfews hanging out with bad friends and no telling what else. Homecoming is this weekend and she wants to go with a boy 2 years older than her on a real date where he drives. I told her no. She of course is mad. The dress she wants is inappropriate and I wont buy it. How do I make the peace in a way that I feel is best and get my point across.
signed,
warn down but not out Mom
Dear Warn Down but Not Out Mom- Don’t give up the fight. What I am about to say is not against you, it against the angst filled adorable little snot that is dwelling in your home. Your daughter. She is at that precious age where she knows everything and you are nothing but a stupid clothes washing food/cash vending machine. You pick your battles wisely and draw a line in the sand. If you have to kick her ungrateful little ass all the way to the Mormon section of K-mart for a Homecoming dress to show her what she could be looking at if she can’t learn a very adult thing called comprise which will probably include you taking her and picking her up at Home Coming to avoid her riding in a car with a boy you do not trust. Because honestly she’s 14, not 17, and if little Miss SmartAss wants to be a real twit she can wait until she is 16 to go to homecoming. Your call not hers. Keep up the good work, don’t give in on the big ones Mom. Like I always say, it’s never to early to start making them hate your rules. This makes them want to do good in school get to college get jobs move out. Hang in there. xo ThePeachy1
Dearest ThePeachy1
For the past 4 months every single day around 12:30pm I get a raging headache. I’ve tried Tylenol, Motrin and Advil any advice?
hoping you can help.
Scott
Scott- Stop banging your head in the door on your way back into the office from lunch every day? Just kidding. Maybe? I don’t know. If you are, stop. If not. Uhm. Try B12. Maybe a Dr and an MRI, or even a change of Diet. that regular of schedule is probably something you are doing to yourself, such as caffeine or food. Change up your routine and what you ingest. Please don’t send me questions that require me to actually act helpful this is supposed to be non advice. Damn it. good luck. xo – ThePeachy1
Peaches-
Which is a harder question? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lolli pop? or How much wood does a wood chuck chuck? Thanks.
Inquiring minds.
Dear Inquiring Minds- obviously it’s “which is a harder question?” (PS That’s way more like it.) xo ThePeachy1
That’s it my lovelies.. Take care and feel free to send in any questions you might need non advice for. The general rule is 3 a week every Tuesday. BEINGPEACHY@GMAIL.COM
xo
PEACH OUT
Drink more vodka. That seems to be working for me today. Im not sure that helps with the whole wood chuck chucking thing, but after a while .. you really wont give a rats ass.
Don’t touch the woodchuck’s wood. He might like it and never leave you alone after that.
Your actually quite good at this advice stuff 🙂 Move over Dear Abby! (Um, that is if Dear Abby is still alive and writing, IDK?)
why Thanks Traci. I am not sure, since when I was a kid I read Dear Abby and her sister Ann Landers and they were both dusting off the dinosaur poop and scribbling their advice on timely rsvp’s and thank yous back before women could vote or own land. I got kind of nervous when it seemed almost like real advice so that woodchuck thing was a nice return to my much less painful much more comfort ( code word for insanity).