Today is the day that I burst forth out into this big world from my drunken moms gut to wreak havoc on the planet until I learned to feed myself in the wild and not drink out of the grown ups cups in my house.
I have several decades of magically craptastic bdays, I blame the drunken adults for the ability to consistently make me feel like I lived in 16 candles but without a Jake.
On Wednesday just 2 short days ago. When I went to write my post, I thought, “self, what do you want to say to the world today?” Self took a deep breath and while rolling it’s eyes said, ” Uhm that you’re a totally narcissistic attention seeking pile of heaving crying snot on July 30th every year because you need reassurance of some sort that you are valuable?”
I punched Self in the mouth, took a shot of cough syrup ( out of vodka so don’t judge me people were in a freakin recession here- hello !) and decided to do what I have always wanted. Scream from the rooftops ( or cat 5 network cables in this case) That more than anything I wanted to smile.
And you people, each and everyone one of you, the lurkers, the stalkers, the people who virtually know me, the people who have met me, and those who have tolerated my “Leo-ness” for years. You people gave me something so precious. You gave me thoughtful, beautiful, funny things, amazing things, things I can only dream of. Things that made me laugh, things that made me drool, and things that took my mind to a place I know my body will never get the chance to go. You see my friends, ( and yes if your reading this I consider you a friend). When I say you rock so hard aerosmith called and wants lessons, or that your so hawt “The Rock” asked me for your work out regimen, or that I love you more than chocolate and vodka. I MEAN IT. I can actually live for months, and sad to admit, years without those 2 things. But a day where I don’t hear from you, read your blogs, your facebook updates, and your tweets, I feel less me, a little lonely and yes kinda freaked out paranoid. I do actually care for each and every one of you and the relationships we have already built, are building now or will build when you quit lurking and start interacting.
Enough of the emotional sappy crap, but damn it it’s my party ( virtually) and I can cry if I want to! But I wont because as you are about to see, I know people that are genius, that are creative and down right glitter cheescake with chocolate vodka drizzle. OH yeah and here we go. Here’s what I got.
( not everyone on here are bloggers so where I could if the person who sent it had a blog I made the image a link to their site so after your done here, feel free to mingle with each other and visit , you clearly share awesomeness in common)
Holly at MidWesternMamah oh yeah this is good. The Ying to My Yang, the Dil to my Do it's Holly oh lordy Miss Molly, this is a dream come true. Thank you. Thank you and Thank you.
*************************************************************
***********************************************
and if you don’t know this next guy, well clearly your one of the few without a restraining order against him.
*************************************************
Shane, dude, you scare me, who are the dead people in my family photo?
This is from my friend Shane, he doesn’t have a blog, but he does think he’s a super hero named Shanezam and he does actually have brain damage. No shit yall. He’s like a male me, but possibly a slight bit creepier, probably taller, we haven’t actually met, yet he has my family photo and added some extra dead people.
************************************************************************
********************************************
My friend from HS I haven’t seen her since 1987. Shut up yes I am that old.
***********************************************************
*****************************************************
and now from my Darling precious sweet and obviously brilliant daughter.
***********************************************************
and Oh yeah Traci, above, the one in the picture with me in Margaritaville in New Orleans, BEST DAMN REALTOR IN TEXAS, licensed in other states too, so shout out if you need her. Tell her I sent you and she will take care of you like your in her Bunco group or cookie club.********************************************************
**************************************************
and then these next few have kind of a common theme, I can’t put my finger on it, but I think these people may read my diary, so delicious. Like BUTTAH !
********************************************
If you don’t believe me look..
and now while your drooling and panting and swooning and all wanting to be me cause Brendan Fraiser wants me and loves me soo damn much he had to send it anonymously as my favorite stalker, ( totally our secret code for each other so I know it’s him)
*********************************
Here’s a smack down awesome musical /video card from my Favorite Guy named Sammy.
*****************************************
Ok are you back good cause this is not even CLOSE to being over baby.
*********************************keep going***********************
Mirror mirror on the wall who is the Peachiest one of all?
I present to you a gift so grand you shall weep with happiness and the very sight….A gift sent from heaven…a Godley gift bathed in holy water and blessed by a thousand monks…a gift so desired you may get shanked in a dark alley by a midget…a gift even Satan himself has at the top of his Christmas list…and without further ado…I give you this…
Calgon doesn’t have shit on this.
Happy Birthday!
May your Birthday not suck big fat hairy balls… unless of course you’re into that?
Xoxox
Your Derbylicous Buddy
(if you don’t get her knick name click here, and then realize why, with people like this in my corner I feel pretty safe )
Ok people that right there, that takes thought, planning and some sort of possible borderline personality disorder that I can relate to, Kristi I Love ya
****************Keep going *****************************
This next person took me on a virtual trip and sent photos. That takes talent or acid folks. Though I have never mentioned it in a blog post ( yet) in my youth I always dreamed of living in Paris even if for just 1 season. I took 4 years of French and art in preparations. Closest use. Cajun on Bourbon Street in New Orleans.
For your birthday I am sending you on a trip to Paris. Not sure if you’ve ever been before but just imagine, here’s what you’d look like on your glorious 4-day, 3-night vacay:
In the first picture you are obviously having the time of your life at the Eiffel Tower. You were able to talk the security guards into letting you climb out onto the antenna.
In the top right picture your fans have followed you to Notre Dame and they are snapping pictures of you. Don’t worry that it’s noon Mass. The priest was a little harder to convince to let you into the closed-off areas of cathedral.
In the bottom right picture you’re checking out the treasures at the Louvre. I believe you’re about to convince the guards to let you get “just a little bit closer” to the Mona Lisa.
In the bottom left picture there you are at the bottom contemplating how hard it’s going to be to get to the top of Sacre Coeur.
At this stop you may just try to climb the light poles, like this guy:
The rest of the details are just a blur. Looks like fun to me though. Have a great birthday trip!
Vicki, aka NotSoSAHM on Twitter or visit her blog at http://notsosahm.wordpress.com/
******************** trying to stop hyperventilating *****
Next up is someone you see on my blog just about every single Thursday. Why? Because Thursdays are my Fun with Facebook Friends day. And yeah this woman right here, is the True Definition of a HOT MESS. Florida babe, no holds barred Zilla wrangler, The Borg her self ( yes my name is kirk and I have a friend named Borg, My cool ass geek factor just went WAY up)
******************oh yeah there is more*********************
Ok my friend Kim sent me this awesome list of things and how it compared to me and she doesn’t have a blog but it’s like an entire post to itself so therefore I gave it a page and am linking to it here. Probably some of the best quotes and examples you will find in our lifetime, ok, my lifetime.
**************************still going ***********************
This next one came in under the name Your humble servants. I have to tell you people, I would actually be ok serving these guys. Pancakes I mean, serving them pancakes.. ( in case the husband is reading)
********************more**********************
*************************like the energizer bunny******************
and from my Dear friend Briggsy, who is only still my dear friend because he has promised to erase all accidentally obtained blackmail photos of me from his hard drive and memory. He is kinda groovin on the fact we are the Kirks. So he sent me this kind of sad, very little effort put into it made by someone else semi funny horribly pornish ( and not in a hot way) video. it’s 3 minutes, just like I suspect is the amount of time…. it takes him to brush his teeth and shave. ( ha gotcha…)
****************** almost there**************************
Yes that little bit of awesome was from @HouseofJules http://bigpikchur.blogspot.com
aka
HouseofJules on Twitter
**********************ok I am so happy right now************
My friend Kev Woods is ubber cool. It’s 5 am where he is right now and he stayed up to make me a jigsaw puzzle of who else… BRENDAN FRASER.. yep you guessed it. Kev ranks super high on my super hero grading curve. He has instructed me to print it and piece it together and then take a photo for proof. I don’t have time to make the deadline in 5 minutes and complete this task so instead I give you something else Kev gave me a while back. In a very dark time, this person would record songs and covers and send them to me all the way from across the pond. . He did this cover for me coming up on almost a year ago. Since I asked for Smiles for my birthday this year, I couldn’t help but pull this one out and dust it off in my own guilty pleasure. Please plug in your headphones people and enjoy.
A musical cover of Mr. David Gilmour’s ” Smile” by Kev Woods.
***************************** that’s all folks**********************
I can honestly say you people have made this one hell of an awesome birthday for me. If more come in or heaven forbid I missed anyone that sent one in, trying to make deadline PLEASE EMAIL ME. Remind me and you will be continued on tomorrows post, aka, Saturday the aftermath, where the winners will also be posted. So come back but probably not to early, you know just in case.. ( I’m hungover)
You are all the motzarella to my pizza..
Much love and I can only hope you all have as wonderful of a day as I am already having thanks to all of you !
PEACH OUT !
***Additions – sorry guys but these just came in and are too good
not to share now !***
A lovely birthday story about me, by someone who knows.
******************** and from my first HS friend AJ****************
I tried to get Mateo, the pool guy to show up, but he had “other commitments”. He is full of fail, and pain now.
Yes she sent me a recipe for an alcohol birthday cake. Hell yeah !