Funny Stuff Friday XI

Ok so yesterday I was markedly absent from twitter and for the most part facebook.  This was due in part to a)my brain falling out ( not making this up), or b) poisonous mashed potatoes.  either way I hope I am back for Friday since it’s like my high school sweetheart only in days of the week. I love it, even when it doesn’t live up to my expectations.  For future reference Sunday is like my marriage day of the week. I love it, comfy and lazy, and usually filled with hugs and no schedule.

But I digress… It freaking funny stuff Friday yall…  So let’s get it on… ( I mean the blog let’s get on with the blog. geez you gutter minds)

ok and a little reading to clear your pallett- or not

One day a hippie gets a ride on a public bus and sees a hot young nun. He sits down next to her and promptly asks if she would like to have sex, to which she immediately says no and walks off the bus. The bus driver leans over and says “Hey guy I know how to get that nun to have sex with you…”

the hippie asks, and the bus driver tells him that every night at midnight the nun goes to an old graveyard to pray for god to forgive her for her past, and that he should dress up like god and tell the nun she will be forgiven if she has sex with you.

Later that evening the hippie gets ready for his big night and drives down to the graveyard and sees the nun praying, on her knees. He says “Behold, I have heard your prayers and you shall be forgiven if you have sex with me!”

The nun agrees but asks if they can have anal sex in order to keep her virginity. The hippie agrees and once they are finished the hippie jumps back and pulls off his mask and says “Surpise, its me the Hippie!”

The nun jumps up and pulls off her mask and says “Surprise, its me the bus driver!”

and now in honor of the weekend being here I give you…..

Drunk animals.

he's gonna feel that in the morning

alone and vulnerable oh the pain

this grass iz sooo soft

so clearly the above animals don’t have friends, cause friends lock you in a room and draw on you with  markers and stuff when you pass out.   Friends don’t let friends drink and gather nuts.  Take it how you want.  That’s my pact.

Have an awesome weekend people !

x0

ThePeachy1