I was innocently minding my own business when this spam email came in to my mail box. It was titled How Polite are you. I have to admit, chills ran down my spine and a bead of sweat appeared on my brow. Why you ask. Well I am gonna tell you. To say I have a laid back often inappropriate style would probably be like saying the oil rig explosion in the gulf is just a little mess.
It’s not like I don’t know how to have manners. I do, I swear, stop laughing at me. I choose instead to just be a nice person and have fun, so sometimes my etiquette gets thrown out the window a little pushed aside. My Grandmother was the queen of social etiquette, always proper, pinky up, ankle crossing, lovely dream of the perfect lady. As her granddaughter I was tortured taught all these wonderful things but chose to climb trees and play softball and listened closely.
So I decided to take this dumb spam quiz manners test. But I knew I would have to be honest and not just click the things that I knew were the right answers I am inappropriate not stupid I could get a good score. But in the interest of science I did the right thing.
The first 2 questions no problem, cell phones in restaurants, holding elevators. OMG ALERT THE PRESSES I HAVE MANNERS ! Then I get all stumped on questions 3.
uhm can I ask the audience?
Let’s get this right people. I don’t run. I run for 2 reasons and 2 reasons only. If there is a fire, and if there is a sale, that’s it. Ask my Doctor it’s actually in my medical records I made him write it in because I am sick of being asked that question. Also I see no possible reason for me to be in a gym. Well unless my main man Brendan was there ( cause he totally wants me) so if he called and asked I would be there, but I still wouldn’t run, not even for him, well unless he was on fire. So ok I am 2 for 3 right cause I have no idea what gym etiquette is and if I were running the gym would have to be on fire so I would probably try to drag my friend out of there and that’s not a choice.
Then question number 4.
This thing is rigged to make me look bad.
Ok, if a friend has me over to dinner what do I bring? Usually my husband and my rapier like wit. Yet amazingly this is not a choice. I don’t bring wine because any friend of mine either already has it or knows I want vodka and we wouldn’t be eating if we were drinking, 2 different events people. However I always ask, ” is there anything we can bring” and is that a choice? NO. Why, because apparently they meant an acquaintance because friends don’t have to have manners, at least my friends don’t.
So you get a good idea how fast this is turning into a big fat flame of me failing. I don’t think I need to go on. But to save you from the pain of this, there was also a question about mailing RSVP’s, being late and forgetting birthdays, all of which I have already covered under I the I am a sucky friend post. So we don’t need to pour salt in that wound Spank you very much.
In the end in true spam form I had to skip about 63 billion hundred and five offers for things I do not want and I got my results. Drum roll please….
“You mind your manners: Although you may have a slip up here or there you make an effort to be polite and courteous.“
Woo hooo…. Go Me…. I rock… heck yeah… I got’s me some manners people… Watch out world !
Even my email tried to warn me this spam was bad news.
