Well Hello you sexy people ( that’s totally the code word for the 1 person that is reading this, yeah you. I think you’re hot and I am not calling you people because I think you are so fat you qualify to be plural, I say people in the plural form because I want it to look like there is more than 1 person reading this )
It’s Wednesday or WTH Wednesday. Why? It’s the one day of the week that does not have a “theme”.
Moronic Monday- Tell it Tuesday- Think about it Thursday- Funny Stuff Friday so this is my free flow day. I write what I want.
This week I have been staying kind of busy and Doctor Kevorkian ( probably not his actual name, since he’s not actually a Doctor, it’s Probably PA Kevorkian, maybe) has been trying really hard to off me but thankfully my medical records don’t reveal I am part zombie so he can’t kill me nee nurr.. Jokes on you dude.
You guys have me so confused. I know that’s not like splitting an atom, at this point in my life opening a of box of pop tarts can be a mental task that involves an abacus, a texas instruments graphing calculator, cornstarch and a stunt butt double. But really guys sometimes I just am so shocked I need to facepalm my dog. ( don’t worry he signed a waiver and we follow peta rules, he wears protective headgear and is compensated)
See his cool helmet? yeah my graphics kind of suck
The thing that baffles me the most.
I get a ton of emails asking me for advice on parenting. This baffles me.
Why this baffles me the most.
I make it clear, crystal clear, that I sucked and failed at parenting my oldest son.
( see career as fire twirling sock street performer)
I admittedly state that my daughter in college is an awesome person in spite of me not because of me.
I mention how lucky I am that the prince is just a great little guy and we were lucky that the DNA Gods gave us such an easy kid this time around and knocking as hard as I can on all wood within a 2 mile radius that he is doing great so far.
So this makes me wonder.
Do the emails that come in ask for advice really want to know what I would do? What I have done? What I will do again?
Or is it a plot a ploy a plan.
Do they want to see what I will say then the reader will be all like “ok, let’s totally do the opposite and then use the money we saved from not putting our kids in therapy on going to Disney or Europe?”
Probably that last one. I mean that makes sense. It would be reasonable and most logical.
You guys know I am clearly all about being logical, {snort} yeah right.. See ya tomorrow. I am headed off to answer parenting emails.
xo
PEACH OUT
Oh and since this is all about the kids and parenting and stuff like that.. Here’s something a great guy named Jason from OutnumberedisMe was asked to read a story to his kids class. So he did what we all would do. He wrote a book. ( feel a little bit like a slacker now?) yeah me too, to make you feel even more like a big heel, he had it published and the procedes go to kids charities. So click on over and order your book, send it to your little ones, or to a local school this will autoforgive the time you fed your kids raw ramen noodles when you had a hangover. It’s called “Do Witches Make Fishes” If you can’t buy one right now, at least pass along the link that’s good for one autoforgive of eating the kids french fries.
order it at http://www.authorhouse.com/Bookstore/ItemDetail.aspx?bookid=73845
wow, am I the first to comment? I guess that means I AM the sexy one! Sweet!!
You aren’t a slacker. And the parenting advice could mean you’re like the george costanza of the bloggy world, but I’d still take it as a compliment!
Hello , I read along and never comment but I just wanted to finally leave a comment to tell you I like your blog. Sometimes you make me laugh when I have nothing else to laugh about.
You act like you are surprised to find out you are the ONLY one to comment thus making you the drop dead gorgeous hottie I refereed to in the post I am in awe of your humility. Also I am the George? I did perfect the file folder carrying rule when I worked for the gvt. which was sort of like the leave your car at work rule he had. But I do not have male pattern baldness yet. However since I wrote that, I am sure I will wake up with it now, because that’s how I roll.
The questioning the reason people ask you for advice has me laughing quite hysterically! I have a couple of friends who repeatedly call me and ask advice on raising kids and they will reference the fact that my kids are soooo good now. I always laugh and tell them that is pure coincidence since I was drunk through their formative years. (not true, but it gets me out of giving advice)
Better they ask you for advice than ( or is it then.. grammar nazi.. where are you?) to ask me. My advice usually consist of “you suck at life” “fuck it, sell the kid to the circus or gypsies” You know…. real quality advice ( NOT )
we often say the same thing. I just use more words. LOL
Everyday You make me laugh so hard. Thank you for your funny blog.
That’s a pretty dog. I hate Dr’s who think they know everything and can’t tell their ass from a stump in the river. Good luck
Uhh are you making this up? This post is some f-ed up sh*t kid. Ive met braindead chimpanzees who were smarter than you.