I have been spared from the Beaver fever. It’s apparently worse than the swine flu combined with e coli and a touch of syphilis dementia thrown in for that special dash of insanity blend.
Here’s the deal, I have figured out that this Beaver kid has obviously used some type of mass hypnosis,( allegedly), similar to that sparkly vampire stalker crap making grown women want to swoon over a pasty fictional entity.
I am sure they are either putting this insanity stuff in tampons or the public water systems. It’s even making even some of my dear friends nearly wiggidy whack, get on my short list of people I need to get POA on, act a bit odd. I am sad because if they start to turn into zombies I will have to off them with a double tap and I really do like my friends. But I am thinking this is similar to mad cow which we all know is just a thin line from zombie status.
I couldn’t find the remote and was forced like a POW lucky enough to catch an interview with little Justank Beaver.
I have a couple conclusions, in addition to his ability to make nearly anyone with a uterus or drinks public water scream like they lit their own hair on fire, and he’s probably the anti christ, and he’s spoiled out of this world and should be diced, chopped and ground up by a product from Billy Mays. He might want to try an exercise in humility, because the only thing worse than a self righteous, all powerful, money having spoiled teen, is the years we have to watch them crash and burn and hit rehab and or optional jail.
Here’s another conclusion and probably the most profound one.
I am positive, pretty darn sure, think he is might be the illegitimate love child of Donnie Osmand.
Here’s why.
Remember Donny’s socks? ( if you don’t your too young and therefore you should be out partying not reading my old lady who remembers Donny Osmond’s socks were ALWAYS PURPLE blog.)
Is this just a coincidence? That some obscure kid has just been “discovered and propelled into modern famedom. Even though he sounds like he belongs in the Vienna Boys Choir unless he has that Magical Mr. Microphone (we all had or wanted) altering his voice like HAL.
Is it just a coincidence he is the spitting image of Donny Osmond? Is it merely a fantastical shot that made them look alike and Justin wearing purple?
NO.
So we know that due to The Osmonds religion they are to have huge families and in wedlock. But we all know Donny had to be a player. So I am thinking that he used his left over money from his Donny and Marie Show to pay musicians with street cred to promote his un recognized secret son. Then through some voodoo hex, people were disillusioned enough to think he had talent or appeal. My kids weren’t allowed to take opposite sex phone calls at his age, let alone get on stage and sing about love. Dangerous People. I tell you “By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.”
I write this wearing my tin foil hat , asbestos pajamas and drinking my artesian well water. Yeah I am definitely safe. Probably. The Question here is, are you?
First, I am sorry I have been absent. I still love you.
Also, I don’t myself have the fever, but my children do. Clyde said to me sadly: “Why does everyone hate Justin Bieber mama? His songs are so beautiful.” He said it like he was speaking of the great works of Chopin.
The donny/justin similarity is uncanny.
QUICK. get him a tin foil hat. poor baby, alternate childrens tylenol and childrens motrin every few hours and subject him to Pink Floyd. I am thinking immersion of Floyd is the only cure, you can try Queen or Even Dream Theater. But if he has it really bad, go with Floyd.
Ha! Good catch Peachy. “And they called it…Beaver loo-ooo-ove.”
Yes, I loved Donny Osmond! I remember getting his album for my 9th birthday. *shivers*
Honest, shivers went down my spine!
those shivers were Osmondatosis. I am thinking that if you had a case of Osmondatosis and recovered that makes you sort of immune to the next gen disease in the family of Beaver fever…
dude this is some heavy shit…please hold while I get my hookah out…and..cross, wooden stakes, garlic, tampons, holy water and skittles
skittles- good call I totally left that out, twizzlers would be good also. but I don’t think you should put garlic on your tampon. Not sure, but I am super careful about what goes near that area every since the fire crotch incident. ( another pretty good psa – http://www.beingpeachy.com/2010/08/09/moronic-monday-fire-crotch/ )
I don’t get the whole Beaver fever thing and thankfully it hasn’t hit here. The daughter is too old. Even with the auto tone he still sounds like a castrated vienna choir boy.
bAb Y bAb Y bAb Y ooooo
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I live with two people of the female persuasion. The young one loves the Bieber, the oldest (my girlfriend) loves the other half of the ‘…and Marie Show’.
Peachy1, do I stand a chance or would slowly water boarding myself to death be less painful?
I am so sorry to hear this because I really liked you. It sounds like they are in the advanced stages of this disorder and since part of the CDC has been infected ( code for bought off) don’t be looking for backup. You are faced with 2 choices, 1- succumb to Stockholm syndrome and just pretend “it’s so cool until it passes. or 2- Go ahead and buff up your anti zombie arsenal and Apocalypse plan. For you I fear, the end is near.
I’ve never heard him “sing” but I don’t understand the sensation over him. What’ll they do when he hits puberty and voice drops?!?!
see you’re not getting the entire picture here. He’s an Osmond, they just repopulate and push out another infectious pawn to brainwash our young ( and old) women. His voice will not drop, they have probably hooked him up with MJ’s doctors so his voice will only go higher and higher until only dogs and Celine Dion can hear him. ( bonus points for saying dogs and Celine in the same sentence HU-RAH I am so in the zone.)
I didn’t catch that fever either but evidently Kim Kardashian would have a piece of that if it were legal.
I am confused. are you saying you want to have Kardashionsim, or that KK wants the beaver? Please tell me it’s the first. because they thought of a woman with that man curves meeting up with a minor wreaks of her becoming a cougar. I have my meow moments, but BEAVER? eww
Thanks Peachy for your advise, without charge and not on a nonadvice day – Your the best. I think I’ll go with choice #2 and have started stocking up on Twinkies and shotgun shells.
He’s a creepy kid and seeing him next to Donny Osmand seals the deal.
I do not understand all the grown ups that act so silly over the vampire twilights or the this kid. I know we all have things that we like but I was crazy over the Partridge family and David and Shawn Cassidy. I look at them now and think. OH MY.
I really like puppies. I just got one a week ago and it has not been trained yet and has bitten me a handful of times but its practically nothing to be concerned about, i can train it perfectly. I hope 🙂
Holy crap they look alike.
yep, it’s obviously through my scientific research I offer proof.
HAHAHAHAHA! You’re so right! WIN.
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6hours of listening to Justin bieber during my art exam ahhh! Haha xx
Do you offer guest writers to write content for you personally? I wouldn’t mind composing a post or elaborating on many of the subjects you write with regards to here. Again, awesome website!
I have had Guest Bloggers in the past. However on the evil sister site of Being Peach you will find The Pits of Being Peachy, it does include a section called “You write here”, and allows guest writers and the general public the opportunity to post, and includes the option of remaining anonymous
I have had Guest Bloggers in the past. However on the evil sister site of Being Peach you will find The Pits of Being Peachy, it does include a section called “You write here”, and allows guest writers and the general public the opportunity to post, and includes the option of remaining anonymous. Everyone is open to post at ThePitts, unonomosly or adult contest on BeingPeachy it needs to I have had Guest Bloggers in the past. However on the evil sister site of Being Peach you will find The Pits of Being Peachy, it does include a section called “You write here”, and allows guest writers and the general public the opportunity to post, and includes the option of pen name or your name and has a peachy type feel, a peachy theme. Also we own 2 gulfcoast sites the cover from tip of Florida all the way to Galveston TX, We can ALWAYS use fantastic writers about the gulf states; Pictures/ articles, or even data entry. Please go ahead and email at sandi@gcis.biz or BeingPeachy@gmail.com WE LOVE WRITERS & PHOTOGRAPHERS